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Dad

My father, George N. Lutton, Jr., known to just about everyone as Buddy, passed away at 4:10 a.m. on Thursday, December 11. He was 76 years old and is survived by my mother, my two sisters and myself, four grandsons and two granddaughters.

We were able to make him comfortable in his last few days and he died without pain. He was comforted by his family and friends throughout, and I was fortunate to be able to tell him the things I needed to before he slipped into unconsciousness.

The viewing will be held Monday night, and a short service will be held on Tuesday morning. We have already covered the preliminaries - funeral home, florist and cemetery, plus notifying so many friends and family members - so we just need to coast through a weekend of helpful visitors, and then survive the services.

I'm keeping a detailed LJ entry on my laptop, but since I don't feel like figuring out how to hook it into Mom's laptop, I figured I'd use her dial-up access ({shudder}) to give everyone a quick update and post the details when I get home (and there is so very much to say about what an indescribably wonderful man my father was).

Thank you to everyone who has offered their thoughts these past few days, both online and in person. It is most appreciated. I do not know when I will be returning home or when I will next have internet access (although it will be easier now that I am not as concerned about tying up the phone line), but I will respond to everyone when I am able.

Comments

( 59 comments — Comment )
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drainbead
Dec. 12th, 2003 09:24 pm (UTC)
This is probably going to sound weird, but I am so glad you were able to make it out there before he passed. I was terrified that you were going to get the news when you got to the airport. I'm glad you were able to be with him and talk to him one last time.

*hugs* to you and your family. Hang in there, and hunt me down if you need to vent or anything.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:14 pm (UTC)
In a way I wish he'd never woken up, as it was painful for both him and us. Still, I have to believe it was a good thing. Thanks for the hugs.
justplainbryan
Dec. 12th, 2003 09:46 pm (UTC)
Jen and I are thinking about you, and our sympathy goes to you and your family.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the kind thoughts.
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
montrealais
Dec. 12th, 2003 10:23 pm (UTC)
Esprix,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and I sympathize deeply.

As you know, I lost my dad this year. If you need to talk, my phone number is on its way to you by email.

Remember to take care of yourself during the preparations and mourning - it is, after all, your time - and rely on your friends for help. If you have to, be bitchy - it will be forgiven. I crept out of greeting people during the visitation, retreated to the basement of the funeral home, and snapped at a friend of mine to get me a smoked-meat sandwich, stat. If you need to do this, do it.

I'm so glad that your dad went surrounded by love and comfort. Strength, hope, and comfort to you and your family in the days ahead.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you, my dear, and it's good to be able to talk to people who have been through this before. I may take this as the opportunity to finally talk to you in person. ;)

And I had no problems taking care of myself, and surprisingly neither did Mom (not that everyone wasn't lording over her like a hawk). If anything I was the most stalwart of the family, but then again it hasn't hit me yet. I'm in a kind of calm about it, knowing full well that it will, probably when I'm not expecting it. And that's ok. :D

Your kindness is always appreciated, dear heart.
adventdragon
Dec. 12th, 2003 10:30 pm (UTC)
It IS a good thing you were able to see him, and say what you needed to say prior to his passing. My father wasn't as fortunate when grandpa died. Your loss has been on my mind a lot lately, and I offer sympathies to the Lutton Family. Condolences Ate, a light on the stage has gone out, and I'm sure is dearly missed.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:17 pm (UTC)
Missed indeed. Thanks for all your help getting me out of the house - couldn't have done it without you.
jayjaybear
Dec. 12th, 2003 10:39 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, Esprix. I don't even know what else to say. I remember when my dad died...I was totally numb for a week, just kind of autopiloting through everything.

Don't forget to take care of yourself in the middle of taking care of everyone else during this time.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:18 pm (UTC)
I did, and still am. I'll let you know when it all catches up to me, though. ;)
[no subject] - esprix - Dec. 31st, 2003 01:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
lilairen
Dec. 12th, 2003 11:46 pm (UTC)
I never know what to say. . .

Take care of yourself, okay?
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:19 pm (UTC)
It's ok - just good thoughts are appreciated. Thanks.
gr8kat
Dec. 13th, 2003 12:11 am (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our thoughts.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much.
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:20 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry my folks couldn't make it to Pennsic this year as we'd hoped so y'all could have seen what a nitwit he was. Apple don't fall far from the tree, eh? ;) Thanks.
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:20 pm (UTC)
Yer sweet. Thank you. I'm glad you finally got through a year unscathed yourself after all you went through last year.
gwynio
Dec. 13th, 2003 04:57 am (UTC)
My dad went throguh a series of strokes about a year ago, and it never looked for a moment like he was going to pull through. So, of course, I sat in the hospital thinking of all the times we'd fought, how I'd cut him out of my life for a few years, how insulting we'd been to each other on many occasions. Those were the only situations I could think of, all the guilt that he might die and that'd be the only impression of me he'd be leaving with.

He pulled through, just. We've talked about it now, and he said that all he could think of, knowing he was dying, was how much he'd miss all the wonderful, happy, loving people he'd been lucky enough to have as a family. Okay, he was on many drugs at the time, hell, with my family, he had to have been to think of us that way. But he didn't think of any of the crap, and the only regret he had was that he'd miss us all because he loved us all, nothing about any hurts or arguments we may have had in the past. So that was very good to hear.

All my love. If it's any help, I remember you posted that he was on morphine. Best way in the world to go. Apparently morphine makes you feel like you're flying away on a warm, fluffy blanket made of clouds, and that nothing in the world could possibly be bad or harm you in anyway. Sounds like a good way to go, and with those he loved around him.

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts. So sorry, boo.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:22 pm (UTC)
You're kind to share your experiences, and I'm glad that my father and I were always close. Although he had a lot of trouble communicating to us on Tuesday because it seems he'd also had a stroke at some point, it was always clear when he said, "I love you, too." It was something that was said often in my family, and I'm glad of that. Thanks, sweetie, you're a peach.
gingy
Dec. 13th, 2003 06:54 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry, honey.

What can I do? I'm only an hour or so away.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:23 pm (UTC)
Um, ookies? :D Just joshin'. Thanks for the offer, but the family stuck together and got through it. You're a dear.
akirashima
Dec. 13th, 2003 07:52 am (UTC)
I know how you feel and Gods i am sorry for you
But take some comfort in the fact that you got to do something so many never get too
you got to say goodbye

My heart trully goes out to you and i pray that you and your family and friends are comforted in this time
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:24 pm (UTC)
We had each other as a family, and although my middle sister is evil we managed to stick it out. And yes, I am lucky, as painful as it was, to have been able to talk to him one last time and tell him things that I wanted to make absolutely sure he understood, and he did. Thanks, dearest.
weirddave
Dec. 13th, 2003 07:54 am (UTC)
*hugs*

Thinking of you Alan, don't hesitate to call if you need anything.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:24 pm (UTC)
Appreciate the offer, and thank you.
sassy
Dec. 13th, 2003 08:59 am (UTC)
All good thoughts to you and your family. Be as good to yourself as your father would want you to be.
esprix
Dec. 31st, 2003 01:25 pm (UTC)
We all were, and we all made sure Mom came first as he would have wanted. Thanks for the kind thoughts.
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