well at least SOMETHING good came of all this extra weight I am carrying!

Where are these fat people that are happy with their appearance to where they exemplify self-acceptance? I want to meet these unicorns and ask them why/how? I can't stand my physique and it fights me at every turn. I contend it's cost me many opportunities to meet guys because I'm not their type. I want to meet these people who find their flab to be a good thing. I feel no pride in who I am physically. None!

*steps off soapbox*

Yes my dear our takes on fat are different. Where you see armor, I see a hinderance.

Okay, I'm gonna sound like a calous ass here (I know, what else is new), but I dare say that most if not all of the aforementioned are of what I call the "fuck it" variety. They're in head spaces/situations that make them not care about their girth. I contend that if you were to offer them a magic pill that'd make them slender that most or all of them would take it. Because that's not an option, and they don't wish to make the effort to be in better shape, they reconcile with their physique, thereby just saying "fuck it". They then go one step further, and embrace their girth. They wear it as a badge of honor, armor, and/or "this is me, this is who I am, get over it".

The difference between them and myself is that I have not reconciled, will never reconcile, and thereby not accepting myself until this mass is off my midsection.

Now these people may be blessed with life situations that accept, appreciate, or don't care about their large size. That's fortunate.

I on the other hand, have been in an evironment that tells me fat is bad, it's unacceptable, stop eating that cheeseburger, and go run a mile will ya?

And let's not even get into the actual health aspects.

I'm just tired of people not realizing what a good person I am because they can't see beyond what's around my waist. They figure "yeah he's a nice guy, but I can find that in a prettier package." I'd like to say I want to lose weight for me, for my health, but that's not the case. I want to lose weight because I'm tired of hearing "Sorry, you're not my type."

GASP!!! Did you just look at me and think "us fat girls have to stick together"?

I think self acceptance is important as the basis for changing anything you might or might not want to change. My bf (as opposed to my DH) took me to see Carol King and James Taylor. And Carol sang "You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart..." and I realized that it's about showing the world (and yourself). You have to show it. I may be delusional (probably am) but it seems that I am being flirted with a lot. And I haven't lost an ounce lately so it has to do with showing the world.

If you are gay (or straight) you are a child of God beautiful inside (and outside for some). What is in need of accepting? I find it incredible that you need self-acceptance, for heaven sakes, unless you are fooling me, you're a hottie with a hot bf. I must be missing something. However hottie or not, you have a beautiful creative soul, what is there to accept? Accept that you are gifted and talented, beautiful and awesome? I've gone and confused myself. But you helped.

Thanks for propping up with self-accepting. It's like you accepting - validating. That's nice.

I spoke about this on Facebook. I did want to thank you for raising the topic, though :)

A friend of mine has become interested in HAES - health-at-every-size. It's a movement that's trying to divorce healthy eating from weight loss/anoerexia. It presupposes that different people have different normal weights, and that starving oeself to thinness isn't health.

It looks interesting.