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Workplace idiocy


"I know this is your busiest time of year, but I need you to do this thing which is the most insignificant, unimportant, most pissant thing I could think of. Now. Because even though I'm giving you the appropriate lip service by saying 'I know you're busy' I'm going to proceed as if I were actually the most important person on campus and so, of course, you'll be doing this most trivial thing that has no value or time sensitivity right away for me. And if you don't get it done in a timely manner (read: TODAY) then I will bug you and whine and probably report you to your superiors 'cause I'm a bitch that way. KTHNXBYE. (Double points if I'm an ignorant, whiny, pissant student who thinks the world revolves around them because I can't even wipe my own ass without help, triple if I'm leaving for the summer and am trying to weasel out of paying for damage I did to my own residence, and quadruple if I'm entirely packed and my parents are waiting outside for me with the engine running and whatever it is I need done I have to do right now because we're leaving right now and why can't you just drop everything else going on campus and do it for me right now? I don't care if the science building is on fire - I'm more important!)

P.S. Of course the next time I need something from you I will be super nice to you and act like this incident never occurred, which you will of course take at face value and treat me like your best friend and do all kinds of favors for me (including bending the rules for me if necessary), 'cause I'm manipulative that way and I presume I'm rather clever by doing so."



(And this, dear friends, is just one reason of many why I'm looking to move to another position ASAP.)

Comments

( 13 comments — Comment )
wasabi
May. 10th, 2007 03:35 pm (UTC)
I blame this new-age trend called "The Secret" which Our Lady Oprah highlighted on her show recently. It's hawked as "the law of attraction" to get what you want (wealth! love! success!) and has been "used by powerful people through the centuries" (I'm sure Hitler and Napoleon knew!) but it seems to consist of imposing yourself on others until they do your bidding.

Favorite antidote: Looking concerned and saying "it's not going to happen."
suba_al_hadid
May. 10th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
I have to disagree with "but it seems to consist of imposing yourself on others until they do your bidding." This isn't what I got out of the movie 'The Secret' at all.
esprix
May. 10th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
Does "The Secret" actually tell you to get off your duff and do something about what you want (which is what I think it says based on what I've seen and read), or are you supposed to sit and chant in your living room until gold rains down from above?
suba_al_hadid
May. 23rd, 2007 02:36 pm (UTC)
The movie does not mention getting off your duff exactly - it's more about changing the way you think so that getting off your duff is not only easy, it's also normal and automatic.

And yes, there is a certain amount of learning to accept it when gold rains down from above. Some people get out umbrellas and go inside to get away from the gold because it seems unnatural to them to receive it and they think there's something wrong. Really.
esprix
May. 10th, 2007 07:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, no - we're customer service oriented, don't you know. "We can't do that" isn't in our vocabulary (well, it is, but only amongst ourselves, never to anyone outside our department). And the funny part is, I've been commended for bringing a "new level" of customer service to this position that has never existed before, which I can only attribute to my predecessors being so peeved at the arrogance, stupidity and selfishness of our co-workers that their burning hatred came through in spades over the phone.

And "The Secret," IMHO, is a bunch of repackaged NuAge crapola. Do I believe if you do good good will come back to you? Sure. But their mantra of "ask — believe — receive" isn't anything more or less revoutionary than anything else that's come down the pike since the dawn of civilization - "pull yourself up by your bootstraps," "you get out of it what you put into it," "get off that goddamned couch before I lodge my foot in your posterior," etc. I mean, hey, if it says it in such a way that people are motivated to better themselves, then that's fine, but it seems to me the one earning the money is the one who creatively repackaged such banality.
suba_al_hadid
May. 23rd, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
I've dramatically increased the amount of income in my life twice recently using the techniques in the Secret. To the tune of $50k. I kid you not.

Some of it is about being ready for opportunities when they come your way. Some of it really is just eerie.
yajaec
May. 10th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
next time you see this person coming, just pick up the phone and pretend on a very important longgggggggggggg call. And whisper to them...*I'm sorry but you'll have to wait, this is very important.* And just start writing some notes.
esprix
May. 10th, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
If only. Alas, it was an e-mail.
defenestr8or
May. 10th, 2007 04:45 pm (UTC)
I got this kind of treatment from some faculty. To make them go away I just said, "I'll get right on it." Worked every time.
suba_al_hadid
May. 10th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
For the win!
esprix
May. 10th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
Essentially, that's what I do. I am merely the message-taker and message-passer-on; I have absolutely nothing to do with the ultimate outcome. The only thing I can do is pass on the message to the people who actually do the work. Yet who takes the guff? Me, of course. So I rely on the tried and true, "I'll let them know you called," and usually that mollifies them.

Wankers.
bovil
May. 10th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that."

Then throw her out the airlock.
esprix
May. 10th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
::checks into rocket boosters for entire campus::
( 13 comments — Comment )

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