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OMG KILL ME NOW!


We just finished watching the WORST MOVIE EVER.

The plot can be summed up in one sentence. "I don't, but I do."

NEVER SEE THIS MOVIE. In fact, never ever see any French films, especially gay ones. Really. We haven't seen a good one yet. And they're all Quincy's fault - he's the one that added them to our NetFlix queue.

When I go to heaven and St. Peter asks me how I lived my life and I say I spent my time wisely, he's going to bring this movie to my attention and I will burn in Hell forevermore.

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( 30 comments — Comment )
montrealais
Jan. 28th, 2006 03:57 am (UTC)
never ever see any French films

By this I presume you mean "films from France." Right? (taps foot)
esprix
Jan. 28th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
Yes yes...
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Jan. 28th, 2006 04:28 am (UTC)
This was also from Picture This!, as were most of the gay French (or really foreign, non-English) films we've seen. They've all been crap. One or two were a little cute at best, but most were angsty slice-of-life-with-no-point wastes of time. It was like watching the worst of bad indie films, but at least those I don't have to read the subtitles.

Now, don't get me wrong - in general I have no problem with non-English foreign films, and will watch them, and have seen many good ones in the past. But we've gotten a good ten or so over the past few months, and each and every one was crap, so now I'm completely turned off them. Maybe it's time to switch to Chinese or Japanese or something else for a while, I don't know, but if it's French and gay, it's off the queue.
[no subject] - akirashima - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:33 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:44 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - akirashima - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:46 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:59 am (UTC) - Expand
weirddave
Jan. 28th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
Nah, you're gonna burn in hell 'cuz you're a God hating faggot, not cuz you watched a dumb French film.
esprix
Jan. 28th, 2006 05:19 am (UTC)
He forgive having the gay, but who can forgive bad French films?
[no subject] - akirashima - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:44 am (UTC) - Expand
velikij
Jan. 28th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC)
I just saw a lesbian film that upset me so much I walked out after 1/2 hour: "Bound": http://movie-reviews.colossus.net/movies/b/bound.html

The cinematography was great. The lesbian sex was great. But you have to appreciate watching someone's fingers being removed with a pruning shear by one of the woman's husband's Mafioso buddies. I don't.

As for French films, "le placard" (The Closet) is fun. A guy who works in a condom factory pretends to be gay to take advantage of affirmative action. An amusing scene is when his teenage son decides his dad is really cool because his dad is gay. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243493/

And then a big guy who was formerly a homophobe has a change of heart and falls in love with the fake fag.

Then there's French Twist, about a housewife who falls in love with a butch lesbian truck driver: http://pubs.socialistreviewindex.org.uk/sr196/film.htm#allen
I must admit though, I did feel a little sorry for the hustband in that one.
logisticslad
Jan. 28th, 2006 06:50 am (UTC)
I agree with the recommendation of "The Closet" - I thought it was very funny in a typically Euro understated way. I've seen "Grande Ecole" and "My Life on Ice" at the Philly GLBT film festival which, while not perfect, had some merit. And while "Amelie" isn't really a gay film, it is well worth seeing. So don't give up on French films forever, but maybe taking a break is a good idea so that you can scrub this one out of your brain!
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC) - Expand
schnuder
Jan. 28th, 2006 06:17 am (UTC)
It can't be the worst film ever, that title belongs to Dracula 3000 followed very closely by The Star Wars Holiday Special.
esprix
Jan. 28th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
This was worse. WORSE.
[no subject] - akirashima - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:42 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - akirashima - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:47 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 28th, 2006 07:59 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - akirashima - Jan. 28th, 2006 08:05 am (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 28th, 2006 08:07 am (UTC) - Expand
minotaurs
Jan. 28th, 2006 06:04 pm (UTC)
Hey! French gay films are great! L'Homme Que J'aime, A Cause d'un Garcon, Ma Vrai Vie en Rouen, Adventures of Felix, Come Undone, Cote d'Azure, Fogi est un Salud, Garcon Studpide, Just a Question of Love, are all great - just to name a few. OK, some of them are a bit weird, like Noir et Blanc, but nobody bats 1000.

They're hella better than most American gay cinema, and the Quebequecois... theirs are all really depressing portraits of fucked up people living fucked up lives.

Confusion of Genders isn't my favorite French film, that would be L'Homme que J'aime, but it was still interesting. The characters were flawed in very human ways, and just trying to somehow make their relationships as true as they could.
esprix
Jan. 29th, 2006 05:21 am (UTC)
You're nuts. We watched Felix and Come Undone, along with Days, plus other indies like Food of Love and Gone But Not Forgotten. SUCKAGE GALORE! I've never seen a sadder bunch of fucked up people in my life.
pinoyheadhunter
Jan. 29th, 2006 12:24 pm (UTC)
Yeah, i remember quincy takigng us to the movie house in one or two occassions, and yes --- we were groaning in boredom coming out of the movie house. :) one was "Jeepers Creepers" and another time, it was a foreign, art film the last time he was here.
esprix
Jan. 29th, 2006 10:51 pm (UTC)
This from the man who says "fear dot com" was the worst movie ever. I see his taste isn't limited to making me suffer. :D
cczernia
Jan. 31st, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
When you say all French films does this include "Le Femme Nikita?"
esprix
Jan. 31st, 2006 09:18 pm (UTC)
Never saw it, but based on my recent history, I don't plan to. JE DETESTE LES FRANCAIS!
[no subject] - cczernia - Jan. 31st, 2006 09:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
[no subject] - esprix - Jan. 31st, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 30 comments — Comment )

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