?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous | Next

Christmas decisions


Well Q has decided not to call his mother (knowing she'd never say I could come), but he's decided to go to his sister's without me. I told him he should do whatever he feels he needs to do, but I won't tell him what to do, and I won't be mad with whatever he decides. I'm a little disappointed, but I also understand he's got some work to do on his family (plus I'd hoped if did go he wouldn't go for the whole week, but that's what he wants to do). Plus it's not so much he's going for his sister, he's going to see his brother and his niece and nephew, and I can't deny him that. I'm hoping he takes the time he's there to sit his family down and start the process of working this out, otherwise we're just going to keep going through it over and over again.

It's frustrating - I can tell he's at a crossroads. His family is essentially making him choose between me and them, and no matter what he does, they'll turn it around and make it out to be his fault.

Bah.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Comments

( 15 comments — Comment )
catmcroy
Dec. 1st, 2005 07:58 pm (UTC)
I feel your pain :( I'm also spending Xmas alone.
esprix
Dec. 1st, 2005 08:03 pm (UTC)
Fortunately I won't be alone - my family and friends are just a couple hours away, so I'll be able to see them - but I'd just as soon spend it with him.
benjamin_1975
Dec. 1st, 2005 08:24 pm (UTC)
*hug*

That sounds tough man. However, things will work out for the best. Just remember, he still loves you.

Have a good Xmass anyway!
esprix
Dec. 1st, 2005 08:30 pm (UTC)
I know he does. Families are just hard. :)
minotaurs
Dec. 2nd, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)
It's too bad that you won't be spending XMas with your honey, but OTOH, you'll be on the same coast as me (albeit briefly). Same state even. We can hang, dude [is there an emoticon for the 'hang-ten' hand?]
esprix
Dec. 2nd, 2005 01:10 am (UTC)
Hanging is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. :D

He'll be back on the 26th, so maybe when I pick him up we can all have dinner.
shaunskywalker
Dec. 2nd, 2005 02:56 am (UTC)
Remind Q of one important fact: that while his family might put him into a tug of war, YOU never will. That little story about letting the bird go and having it come back to you has a second meaning, after all...
esprix
Dec. 2nd, 2005 03:01 am (UTC)
Oh, he knows that. People are just funny about their families sometimes. I mean, when I came out to my Evil Sister she told me my life was useless because I was just going to eventually die from AIDS anyway, and I didn't speak to her for 2 years after that, but now we get along (well, we're civil, and it's because I enjoy spending time with my niece and nephew, but I do it anyway). So I'm not going to fault him for wanting to see his family (especially the ones who are actually supportive of him, like his brother), and try to make them see things his way. I hope, though, that they make progress, because if this keeps up, he really will have to make a decision, and I can tell you right now, I know I'd win. :)
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Dec. 2nd, 2005 05:09 am (UTC)
That'll do, pig. That'll do. :)
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Dec. 2nd, 2005 05:41 am (UTC)
Smart move. :D
troystar
Dec. 2nd, 2005 03:11 pm (UTC)
Hi,

This is so sad, when I first came out my sister didn't want me bringing my boyfriend to my niece's birthdays. I also didn't speak to her for a year. Everything is OK now my family loves my partner but it was so hard back then. I hope it all works out for you and Q.

Phil
esprix
Dec. 2nd, 2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
As I said, Roman Catholic Filipinos. I don't have my hopes very high.
oxymoronnyc
Dec. 2nd, 2005 04:36 pm (UTC)
Give it time, give it time. You're already doing the exactly right thing by making it clear that you won't force the issue, even if Q's family does; that's going to be a huge help to him.

But these things tend to linger for a while. C & I have evolved this merry-go-round at Christmas, where he spends a few days in Florida with his family, and a few days in Frederick with mine, and travels on Christmas day so I get at least part of the day with him. It's not fun, but it works, sorta.
esprix
Dec. 2nd, 2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
No, I'm not going to tell him what to do - he's got to do what's right for him or he'll hate me. And really, seeing his family (no matter how poorly they think of me) is important to him, so...
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Dec. 3rd, 2005 04:34 am (UTC)
We'll survive, but yeah, it's always funny to experience stuff you never even conceived of, isn't it? :)
( 15 comments — Comment )

Latest Month

August 2019
S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner