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BBQ Pit fun at the SDMB

Great. I've been Pitted once again. Well fuck me for calling people on being ignorant homophobes and sticking up for my lesbian sisters. Would it have been ok if anyone else other than me had posted it? That's surely how it feels. I guess I'm back to One Trick Pony status, and I'll have to once again post a rundown of all the threads I post in to "prove" I'm not. Most Dopers will chime in and support me; some will halfheartedly agree with the OP, "not meaning any offense;" and a small minority will use it as an excuse to vilify me for whatever reasons (probably because I called them to task before on the same jerkish behavior that I was ranting about in the first place).

Didn't we do this, like, twice before?

They build you up, they tear you down - and I'm the "whiny queen."

I am seriously considering a break from the boards.

Comments

( 20 comments — Comment )
(Deleted comment)
esprix
Jun. 3rd, 2003 01:16 pm (UTC)
It does - probably about as old as "can I watch" does to lesbians, I'd gather, and just as asinine.

And I'm learning all kinds of new things about people in the process. Whee. :(
sistercoyote
Jun. 3rd, 2003 01:32 pm (UTC)
I read the board, but only post infrequently anymore, and I would just like to say that *I*'m glad you spoke up.
esprix
Jun. 3rd, 2003 03:00 pm (UTC)
Well thank you.
dublos
Jun. 3rd, 2003 01:41 pm (UTC)
IF you need it..
Then take the break. There's nothing wrong with it, and if it's better for your mental health for a while, then there's everything right with it.

And yes, it gets repeditive, but when it's a result of doing something very worthwhile.....

Besides.. just because someone throws down the gauntlet, are you absolutely required to pick it up?

I've always looked forward to the day I see a really stupid, heated pit post followed by absolutely no response.
esprix
Jun. 3rd, 2003 02:57 pm (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
Oh, I was tempted. By the time I read it, though, the OP had pretty much dug his own grave with the "faggot" comment, plus a few folks had come in to support me, although I see the flames are still being fanned by a few yapping asshats who have a boner for me for whatever reasons.

Bah.
jkusters
Jun. 3rd, 2003 04:52 pm (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
I tell ya, Esprix, you gotta learn to pick your fights. Getting the last word in is not a moral imperative, nor is always responding to those who intentionally try to get your goat. For some it's a game, and you're playing right along. If you ease off on the Crusading Cocksucker routine a bit, you'll garner less of a reputation in the "one trick pony" arena, and might find yourself the subject of pit threads more often.

You've heard it from me before, and I know you don't care for my opinion, but that's the way I see it. If you insist on painting day-glo targets on your buttons, don't be surprised when people tweak them just for fun.

JOhn.
esprix
Jun. 3rd, 2003 05:00 pm (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
And thank you for that "I told you so," John.

What I find most interesting is that, so far, everyone has agreed that the lesbian comments are wrong, ignorant and offensive, but I'm getting jumped on for saying so just because it's me saying it. This isn't about "getting the last word in," it's about doing what's right, and I did, and I'm getting the short end of the stick for it. Are you justifying people "pushing my buttons?"

Yeah, thanks a lot. I guess that's what you get for fighting ignorance - it's a good thing, unless you do it too much.
jkusters
Jun. 3rd, 2003 05:45 pm (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
I looked at the pit thread you linked to, and wasn't getting the impression you were personally being flamed. That thread seemed to be wandering around puposelessly.

I have not looked at the other thread you referred to, so I can't say whether it is just you they are responding to or something else. I responded based solely on what you posted here.

Personally, I gave up on the Dope. Too many people post there with closed minds. The goal might be fighting ignorance, but most of the people who post there in the non-trivial threads have their minds made up already and no well-reasoned refutation is going to change that. The same arguments get hashed out season after season and nothing really changes. To me it became little more than grade-school gossipers ("Did you hear what Sally said about Sam? Oh, my god, I got to tell everyone!") so I have pretty much given up on it entirely. Maybe you and others find some use in it, but when you can guage the season by when certain people get pitted, it's not really making any forward progress.

Take this for what you paid for it, of course.

JOhn.
esprix
Jun. 3rd, 2003 11:49 pm (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
Well I was going to suggest reading those threads, but obviously you're beyond caring, so don't worry about it - no harm, no foul.
jarbabyj
Jun. 4th, 2003 10:29 am (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
I know you're mad at me right now, but the point is Esprix, even if those comments like 'can I watch' were stupid, at some point you've got to wonder, is it worth it to go through all the shit.

You can say your fighting ignorance all you want, but even the lesbians who AGREED with you, some of them said they weren't sure it was worth calling out folks as homophobes, haters or gaybashers, and someone even fucking suggested CASTRATION for someone who dared to utter a lesbian joke.

Are there NOT bigger fish to fry in the world? I've been told forty five thousand times to LIGHTEN UP in my view of rape jokes, why is it wrong for people to tell you the same?
esprix
Jun. 4th, 2003 10:55 am (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
I am not being told I am wrong - I am being attacked because I stood up (evidently one too many times) to ignorance. And it's not that it was this one instance - when you hear 500 instances of the same stupid, purile joke, every once in a while you say, "OK, enough already!" But because *I* was the one that said it, that was the excuse to ignore the ignorant comments and attack me instead.

But hey, thanks for jumping on that bandwagon with everyone else. Learn something new every day.
jarbabyj
Jun. 4th, 2003 11:16 am (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
Jesus CHRIST. I responded TWICE to that thread and once was in response to GOBEAR. I said I thought the OP was a bit over the top, asked Gobear for clarification and was OUT.

I'm not on any bandwagon, unless you consider anyone who questions your OP to be against you.
esprix
Jun. 4th, 2003 11:24 am (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
Your e-mail was enough for me.
jarbabyj
Jun. 4th, 2003 11:32 am (UTC)
Re: IF you need it..
Oh well then. All the best. I hope you find a few spare moments to enjoy your life
dragonblink
Jun. 3rd, 2003 04:39 pm (UTC)
Cee-ripes, on a board fighting ignorance you got flamed for trying to get people to stop saying offensive/ignorant things?

Half the battle against ignorance, and intolerance as well, is just pointing things out to people that they may not have noticed. Before I came to the SDMB, I didn't think of "gyp" as an offensive word. I had a vague knowledge of its origins, but didn't think anything of it. It was the reactions to, and discussions of, that word on the boards that showed me that it is a very sharp word, and one with many connotations I would never want to intend. Consequently, whenever I find myself about to say "What a gyp" I consciously remind myself to say "What a rip-off" instead. It's starting to become second nature, but I would still be using that word if people hadn't pointed out how offensive it is.

Reminding people that the things they say are hurtful and ignorant is important. I don't understand why someone's panties got bunched because you do that kind of thing often (and well). I don't recall ever thinking, "Wow, Esprix really went out of his way to get offended there." Your Trick -- and honestly, you've got far more substance to you than just one Trick -- is in keeping with the whole aim of the SDMB. Can one really say that about the flames that have been directed against you?
esprix
Jun. 3rd, 2003 04:51 pm (UTC)
Well that was very nice of you to say.
gwynio
Jun. 4th, 2003 11:41 am (UTC)
i barely participate in the boards. the reason you're being picked on? because you contribute a lot to that community and in doing so, become a visible target. this is why i tend to hide. so speaking as a lurker, i'd like to say i have the utmost respect for anyone willing to speak out on something they see as ignorant and wrong. no, people will not always agree with you, and yeah you get shit for it, but still you come back and call them on it again, regardless. that takes strength and you should be proud of yourself for making a stance, even though your prior experience told you that you might get shit for it. i admire that you did it a great deal, and don't have the sort of guts it takes for what you've done and keep doing despite the assholes. FWIW, i'm proud of you :)
esprix
Jun. 4th, 2003 11:43 am (UTC)
{SIGH} Thank you. I am so drained by this. I get praised for being "The Gay Guy," until people get tired of me being "The Gay Guy," then I get lambasted for being "The Gay Guy." I can't win.
gwynio
Jun. 4th, 2003 11:50 am (UTC)
this is because people suck.

course, nice people swallow.
( 20 comments — Comment )

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