Esprix (esprix) wrote,
Esprix
esprix

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This is so my mother...


I don't usually repost glurge or forwarded jokes or whatever, but this just cracked me up!

>Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention
>Deficit Disorder.
>
>This is how it manifests:
>
>I decide to water my garden.
>
>. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide
>my car needs washing.
>
>. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch
>table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
>
>. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
>
>. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage
>can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
>
>. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage
>first.
>
>. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out
>the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
>
>. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one
>cheque left.
>
>. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house
>to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
>
>. I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke
>aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is
>getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it
>cold.
>
>. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the
>counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
>
>. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses
>that I've been searching for all morning.
>
>. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water
>the flowers.
>
>. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water
>and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
>
>. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the
>remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to
>put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
>
>. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
>floor.
>
>. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
>the spill.
>
>. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
>
>. At the end of the day:
>
>the car isn't washed,
>
>the bills aren't paid,
>
>there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
>
>the flowers don't have enough water,
>
>there is still only one cheque in my cheque book,
>
>I can't find the remote,
>
>I can't find my glasses,
>
>and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
>
>. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
>baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
>
>. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
>it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
>
>. Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
>because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
>
>Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
>
>
>GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
>GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL
>LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!
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