June 14th, 2009


My friend Stuart

Stuart died today.

I can't believe I just wrote that.

I talked to Wyatt after getting the heads up about the posts on his Facebook. The only thing I could think to do was call Stuart's cell phone, and Wyatt picked up. How surrealistically morbid.

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So, yeah. I'm just stunned. I can't really process this yet.

I met Stuart at Gaylaxicon in 2004, and together we started San Diego Queer Sci-Fi. We had a booth at a couple of Prides, and he started a book club and the monthly movie outings. He came to Myke's weekly gaming night, and we had a pretty good gang going. I got him involved with Conjecture, and he used to scout out artwork at other conventions if he thought I would like it. He also dragged me (somewhat kicking and screaming) into slash fandom, even taking me to CON.TXT last year, which is the last time I got to spend time with him in person (although I would often call him when I felt homesick for San Diego, despite his impending move to Seattle). I found out a whole new side of him at the con - it turns out he's quite famous in slash fandom for not only being one of the few men, but also for his insights into m/m relationships that straight women never had a resource for before. It was a real treat to see his contributions to the community, and how much he was loved there.

Stuart was infamous for hating having his picture taken, but I took this one the night before I left San Diego in 2005 as all my friends were playing board games at a local coffee shop (he's on the far right):

It's still one of my favorite pictures, and now one of the few I have of him. Still, every time I see it, I can still hear him saying, "What's your damage, Heather?"

I will miss you, Stuart. I will miss you very, very much.