January 31st, 2006

Heroes can fly

Making your own reality


In a friend's LJ where he said he was depressed because someone didn't find him attractive, oakthorne posted a brilliant reply that I thought bore saving:

The path to misery is taking subjective opinion as objective fact.

The cult of youth and beauty is a substitute for depth. You are too anxious to recriminate yourself for imagined failings of appearance. Does that let you off the hook, somehow? Is that easier than admitting you aren't comfortable simply being who you are?

Your reality is shaped entirely by you. Why do you *want* to be considered unattractive? What is the lure? Because, if you put as much credence into times that people told you - flat out, without hinting or vagueness - that you were attractive as you did when people hinted or maybe even flat out said otherwise, you'd have no choice but to accept yourself as unattractive.

Why is it so comfortable to imagine yourself as undesireable? Does this mean that you don't have to put any effort into social situations, that you don't have to get out there and meet people, talk to people, become vulnerable to them? "Oh well, I'm ugly anyway" stinks of sour grapes, brother-mine. It's a bullshit cop out.

I'm sorry if I've offended, but I don't let people talk about friends that way. Not even if the person doing the talking is also the one being talked about. I call bullshit.