July 27th, 2004

Gir!

On the opening of the Democratic Convention...


Can we elect Bill again? Please?

"[Regarding Bush's tax cuts] For the first time when America was in a war footing in our whole history, they gave two huge tax cuts, nearly half of which went to the top 1 percent of us.

Now, I'm in that group for the first time in my life.

And you might remember that when I was in office, on occasion, the Republicans were kind of mean to me.

But as soon as I got out and made money, I became part of the most important group in the world to them. It was amazing. I never thought I'd be so well cared for by the president and the Republicans in Congress. I almost sent them a thank you note for my tax cuts until I realized that the rest of you were paying the bill for it. And then I thought better of it."
Now THAT was ballsy. I like a president who can laugh (as opposed to smirk all the time).

"[On paying off the deficit] So then they have to go borrow money. Most of it they borrow from the Chinese and the Japanese government.

Sure, these countries are competing with us for good jobs, but how can we enforce our trade laws against our bankers? I mean, come on."
:D

"During the Vietnam War, many young men, including the current president, the vice president and me, could have gone to Vietnam and didn't. John Kerry came from a privileged background. He could have avoided going too, but instead, he said: Send me."
Again, very ballsy, but then, he doesn't have much to lose anymore. He also (smartly) inherently deflected the Republicans' cry of "what does he know - he never served either!"

"Now, everybody talks about John Edwards' energy and intellect and charisma. You know, I kind of resent him."
That got a well-deserved laugh, and again proved Bill, despite his problems, is one hell of a public speaker and charmer.

"Their opponents will tell you we should be afraid of John Kerry and John Edwards, because they won't stand up to the terrorists. Don't you believe it. Strength and wisdom are not opposing values."
And for that quote I'd give a kiss to his speechwriters. Brilliant.

All in all, very impressive. I'm sorry I missed Carter.
Gir!

Bacon!


This was many years ago, it was very late at night, I was very tired, and we were at Denny's. (Hopefully everyone reading this has been in the same situation and can therefore relate to the following bout of stupidity.) I'm looking at the menu and trying to differentiate the price difference between an order of pancakes with bacon and an order of pancakes plus a side order of bacon. Really. That's what was going on in my addlepated, semiconscious brain.

Unfortunately, what I said out loud was, "What's the difference between pancakes and pancakes with bacon?"

A moment of silence was followed by my friend Rich saying, "You get... bacon?"

They've never let me live that down. Bastards.

[Posted to mock_the_stupid]
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