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Thanks for the (non) reply

When you submit your resignation, it's tradition to reply, isn't it? (Needless to say, I'm grateful for the confirmation of my decision.)


( 6 comments — Comment )
Apr. 29th, 2014 06:47 pm (UTC)
When I was leaving San Diego, I had submitted my resignation to my boss, but she sat on it, and didn't really tell her boss I was leaving. When I said something about that to her, she replied that she was hoping I would change my mind. I had already given notice at my apartment and rented a new one in the Bay Area. She really hoped that I would stay instead...

I don't think she really believed I would leave till I was walking out the door... I had a few friends act the same way when it came to me packing up the apartment and renting a truck to go...
Apr. 29th, 2014 08:37 pm (UTC)
Oh heavens, if my BOSS sat on my resignation, I'd be gobsmacked. No, this was just a concomm, but still, I'm kind of put out that no one seems to either notice nor care. Oh, well - certainly confirms my decision, doesn't it? :)
Apr. 29th, 2014 09:52 pm (UTC)
Have you actually detailed what led to this anywhere? Because I feel like I've only gotten about 25% of the story.
Apr. 29th, 2014 10:21 pm (UTC)
I haven't much because I have to be careful on FB. Here's fairly safe, though.

So joined the committee to run a small nationwide roving annual social con - no fandom, just basically folks connected through chapters of this nationwide organization who get together every year. Many of them have been coming for years, so it's like an old home week for them, seeing old friends. It gets about 150 participants, and moves around the country.

When our local group in DC decided to put in a bid, of course I threw my hat in the ring, given all my experience. I've never been to this particular con before, but there were plenty of others who gave lots of good info about how things have been done in the past. The only job I hadn't done yet but wanted to do was hospitality suite, and the Chair was happy to get me on board, because he knew of my experience.

Cue drama.

First, there are some (few in number, but loud in voice) very opinionated (and mouthy) people on the committee, and because this is sort of "their" event, they (a) look disparagingly on those who have never attended before, and (b) are not very open to change. Many of my initial suggestions, questions and comments were met with "tut tuts" and "with all due respects" and "no, that won't works." OK, fine, I figured as we got closer, I'd concentrate on hospitality and let them run the rest of the con as they saw fit.

Second, at some point the Chair pulls me aside and says that "other people" have been telling him that I'm "reckless," a "loose canon," a "liability" and other such nonsense, all because I'm actually - *gasp!* - asking pertinent questions about things I'm familiar with, such as what exactly is in the hotel contract, how one negotiates with a hotel regarding F&B and room nights, how one cleverly gets around the rules when needed, what our budget needs are, etc. This takes me aback, as I've been hanging out with this particular group for over 2 years now and I consider them all friends - to find out they're trashing me behind my back really, really rattled me. Still, the Chair insists that he wants me on the team, and gives me advice on how to handle my detractors. Shaken, but willing to give things another chance, I decide to continue.

Third, after going to the next sub-committee meeting that includes the hospitality working group and letting people know that I knew they had concerns and that I was working on ways to better work with everyone, I am met with blank stares, as no one has any idea what I'm talking about - everyone there likes me, has always liked me, and has no reason to doubt my abilities. With the Chair absent at that meeting, I am enlightened as to the Chair's tactics; apparently, he uses imaginary "others" as the excuse to reveal his own motives, actions and concerns, thereby justifying himself and deflecting blame/responsibility. After considering several situations I'd had with him, it all made sense. OK, so fine. At least now I know how to deal with him, right? At least all my friends didn't actually hate me. That's good.

Finally, the Chair goes overboard with making both sweeping and micro-managing decisions with no input or consideration from anyone else on the committee. This includes things as small as cancelling his Skype account so anyone not in DC can no longer call into weeknight meetings (HINT: I'm the only committee member who lives outside of DC and can't make weeknight meetings) to announcing that he and his partner are staying in the hospitality suite itself and so he will dictate what time it opens in the mornings of the convention.

(gads, must continue in part 2)
Apr. 29th, 2014 10:22 pm (UTC)
So, at that point, I knew I was done. The sneakiness alone is bad enough, but a non-collaborative process where no one is consulted, and everyone's hard work is ignored or re-written? Nope, count me out. He has every right to do it that way, of course - he's the one that signed the contract and is on the line for the money - but that is NOT what I signed up for, so my expertise and I are leaving, thank you very much.

So I was going to inform him when I saw him at a social gathering this past weekend, but he wasn't there, so I sent him a brief e-mail yesterday just stating that I was looking forward to the convention, but that I was withdrawing from the committee, and I've been met with silence since.

(OK, that was longer than I thought. Sorry. Hee!)
Apr. 30th, 2014 01:25 am (UTC)
So sorry, hope the con is enjoyable, but I'm certain Hospitality would have been incredible...
( 6 comments — Comment )

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